How do you sign your book? – That’s the question.

Last week I blogged about addictions and since then I’ve thought of another, autographed books. I love books signed by the authors. My group of signed favourites sit on a special shelf in my lounge room. The circumstances that made me think about this particular addiction was due to receiving a book I ordered some weeks ago. I was excited because I had asked the author, with whom I’d enjoyed a conversation, if she would write a few words and sign the book for me. To say that I was disappointed is an understatement. My copy was simply signed with a signature, she didn’t put my name or even ‘Best Wishes’! I know it’s not the end of the world but after speaking to her, I expected more. I suppose I should turn this into a positive  – she did at least sign my copy of HER book.

That’s when I began to think about how other authors sign their books for readers so I did a search. After some time browsing I came up with a post that made me uncomfortable and gave me a slight sense of deja vu, though my experience was no where near as dramatic as the one below. The article/blog post, “More than just an Autograph” was written by www.huffingpost.com ‘s Lawrence D. Elliott – Author and contributor to “Chicken Soup for the Soul”. (Sensational title isn’t it.)

Here is some of what he wrote …

“More than just an Autograph” by Lawrence D. Elliott

“Recently, Conny and I attended my first sales seminar in Germany. Some speakers were better than others, however one really stood out. Although he spoke so fast — even for the German folks — I found him head and shoulders above the others. He really held my attention, which helped me focus on what he was saying. Conny felt the same way.

Conny was really impressed by this guy. Since he was also an accomplished author, she bought two of his books. Then, she approached him to autograph them for her. Fortunately, he wasn’t crowded with other autograph seekers. I sort of straggled behind and watched from afar, wanting her to have this moment alone with him. She handed him the books and, as he bent down to sign them, he looked up at her and gave her this strange look. Was it something she said? It made me curious, so I headed toward that direction. By the time I reached them, he’d already signed both books. Conny wore a smile, but knowing her, I knew something had happened. I shook hands with the author, told him how great he was, and Conny and I walked away.

It was then that she told me what had happened.

She’d asked the author if he would autograph the books with “fellow author” along with her name. He asked what she’d written and she told him she wrote books to help people get through life.

She showed me what he’d written and I couldn’t believe it. Two standard, generic autographs. The words she requested were not included. In hindsight, perhaps his look was one of disapproval. Maybe her answer didn’t put her in the same league. After all, he was really an author. Not only is he an “educated” man, but he’s also been on German television. This makes him a “famous educated” man!

Perhaps those would be his thoughts, but obviously not ours. Of course, she also had the privilege of paying him 30 Euros.”

“People will always like you, based on how you make them feel about themselves.” ~Murray Shapiro

Can I say here that the Conny, Lawrence mentions is a rape survivor. He went on to say, “her work consists of poetry and essays depicting her daily struggles to hold on to love and making sense of the world. She’s refused to allow her abuser to make her a victim for the rest of her life. Perhaps her work wouldn’t have been this author’s cup of tea, but for someone else who is also a rape survivor, it could give them the feeling of I’m not alone. Someone else knows my pain. Okay, so he didn’t know this. Could he have asked more before he rejected her? Sure. Could she have volunteered more? I guess. But was this truly necessary to get her autograph?”

I felt a wave a sadness when I read Lawrence’s article. My disappointment in the lack of extra words in my book wasn’t anywhere near as important as the lesson I leant from reading Lawrence’s post. Anyone who reads my blog knows I’m always thinking about people and their behaviour, so naturally my thoughts were about the author in Lawrence’s post and wondered why he behaved as he did? Did he not want to give Conny any recognition for being an author? I then realised that I recognised his emotion. There’s a strong parallel in relation to this authors behaviour and my years of riding and breeding horses, simply by the way people conduct themselves. Why is it so hard for some people to be generous in what they say and do? Why do they never easily give credit where it is due.

“Giving credit where credit is due is a very rewarding habit to form. Its rewards are inestimable.” ~ Loretta Young

Why does the “I’m so important because … syndrome” come into the equation and ruin what has the potential to be a memorable or exciting moment. This syndrome is like a virus in society affecting people and corrupting human-kind’s most wonderful emotions. Love, gratitude, joy, passion, excitement, happiness and hope to name a few. How can you spread these emotions to fellow human beings when you lack one of the most fundamental emotions of all, generosity!

“The selfishness must be discovered and understood before it can be removed. It is powerless to remove itself, neither will it pass away of itself. Darkness ceases only when light is introduced; so ignorance can only be dispersed by knowledge; selfishness by love.” ~James Allen

I’ve come away from this whole thoughtful interlude by actually realising how much pleasure I get in personalising the books I sell. Actually, that’s an understatement, I really love thinking up sayings or quotes to use relating to each book’s story. I also sat for a while and fantasised about what I would have written for Conny had I been in the position. Plus, I would have asked her about her writing … I would have had no issue at all in signing a book, ‘to a fellow author’ in fact I would have been proud to do so.

Mostly, when I sign a book I try to write something personal and unique. I feel very privileged to do this for readers, after all it’s the least I can do as they are assisting me in my writing career by purchasing my book. I have to tell you that I’m still VERY excited and grateful every time I sell a book. Naturally, not all my books end up being signed but there’s something  special for the author and the reader to have a connection by something written and something read, making a personal and happy memory.

If there’s time, it’s wonderful to listen to what book lovers have to tell you. I know people could think that an author may only want to talk to them so they can sell a book but I don’t think this is the case. Well, it’s not for me, horse people are fascinating and a constant source of  inspiration to me. Writing books and breeding horses takes the same amount of determination and often presents the same amount of disappoints as well as the same euphoric highs. So having conversations with other authors, the general public or fellow horse breeders is no hardship for me – but then I love a good talk!

As Nathaniel Hawthorne says – “Easy reading is damn hard writing.”

Regardless of my last experience I feel it’s essential to support independent/self published authors. It’s a huge effort to write a book and my goal is to create a book complete with a memorable signature  and or words (if desired) that the reader will remember fondly and hold onto for years. I continue to live and learn …